Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
