I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Randomize
