Me too!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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