Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize