Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How does one acquire holy water?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
