YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
