so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
