things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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