Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
