Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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