dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Are we still banned from the library?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
