Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
