He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
