:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
