.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
