If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
