Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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