yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
