I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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