Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
