we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
