butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
one two three fourrrrnication!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
