walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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