pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
