Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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