how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
