i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
