why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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