You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
