No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
