ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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