shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
