is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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