he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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