then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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