I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
