Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
