I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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