So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
