my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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