Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
