We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
