If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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