McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
