i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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