high people should be assigned attendants
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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