Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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