clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize