Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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