You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
