I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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