Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
