I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize