1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can't motorboat a personality
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
