I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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