i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
