Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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