Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
