we're blogging at a bar
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize