No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
