Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
