Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize